Intolerance

I was in a house with some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They were old and wheezy.

I went out to the street and worked on my job review. I wrote it almost like a novel. It started raining and it all smeared.

I picked up a copy of the Picante Times and saw that I had written an article in it. It made me proud to see my byline again. A homeless man started yelling at me about what I had written and I ran away.

I was back in my high school. A current authority figure was my teacher. She told me I would have to stay out of her class today-- her mother was going to visit and she would be offended there was a Jew in class. I was stunned speechless. Later that day I passed her on the crowded stairs in between classes and she reminded me not to come to her class. "I'm Jewish, everyone!" I yelled. "I'm Jewish!" I immediately regretted my outburst and feared the repercussions. She caught up with me and took me into an empty classroom to explain that she wasn't prejudiced, but she had to respect her mom. I burst into tears and told her how terribly offended and furious I was about the situation. I told her there was no way her mom would ever even know I was Jewish unless she told her. She disagreed; my nose gave it away. She tried to make me feel better by telling me she wasn't allowing Walter in class, either-- on account of his homosexuality. "Walter isn't gay!" I shouted. "I went on a few dates with him and college and I can guarantee he is at least bisexual!"

Nostalgia

I was back on the U of M campus. I had one more task to complete before I could leave-- a sort of final: I had to fry a slab of beef on the sidewalk by Northrup. Karlee called to say she was done with her article so I went over to the Daily to edit it. Jim was furious that I would usurp his powers as her editor and break the chain of command. I told him I could break the chain of command whenever I wanted to. He got violent, and I used the moves I learned in my self defense class to beat him back. I used a desk for leverage and launched both of my heeled boots into his gut. I ran down the stairs yelling that he was a pervert.

I was trying to get home and used the "M" bridge by my old apartment building to get to University Avenue and try to catch a bus. I glanced at the cityscape from that vantage and felt sad that I wouldn't be able to have my wedding pictures there. I hopped on an open-top Campus Connector and we sped down frat row. I was holding a giant red exercise ball that was annoying the guy sitting in front of me.

I got off the bus when I saw signs for the No. 4 bus stop and ran into Bryce. He didn't see me so I tapped him on the shoulder. He was shocked that I was there, but had to run off to finish his finals. He left before I could tell him Matt and I were engaged. The 4D (for Denver) bus rolled up and I boarded, thinking how convenient it was that there was a bus that went all the way from the U of M to my apartment in Portland.

Katrina in an airport

I was in a airport terminal right by an ocean while a hurricane came in. There was a wall of just windows, so to protect ourselves we dragged a bunch of cars in from outside and lined them up against the windows. It was nighttime. We could barely see the gigantic waves cresting, but once they got high enough they smashed through the windows and their force pushed the cars toward the wall where we were cowering. It was a bad idea. I escaped to a side room where there were two poles I could hoist myself up on. A friend was with me, and I offered her one of the poles. George Clooney walked in, looking like a very old man. I patted his face and told him it was going to be alright. He left to go outside and stand on one of the craggy rocks on the beach. He wanted to die.

I realized that before the storm I had hoarded a bunch of food, sneakily taping it into the tire swing at the bottom of my pole and into a high shelf in the back room. I praised myself for being so smart because I knew it would be a long time before I could go grocery shopping again.

*This dream brought to you by Treme, a preview for Hoarders, and the airport scenes from Little People, Big World*

Taking a Gamble

I was at a casino with my family. The first game I played was similar to one Nyakouth really liked at Chuckie Cheese, where you drop a ball onto a spinning wheel and you get the number of tickets marked on the place your ball drops. My ball dropped on the $1 million. I was shocked because I never ever win anything. My first thought was that I was going to be able to buy an iPhone, which made me so happy.

Bundles of cash popped out of the machine, and I didn’t know what to do with them. I didn’t have any pockets or a purse, so I raced around the casino looking for my mom with the cash in my hand. A gang of girl bullies saw my loot and wanted to try to steal it from me, but I was able to escape from them.

When I finally caught up with my parents, I looked more closely at the bills I had in my hand and realized that it totaled $10,000 at most. I went to find the general manager to get the rest of my money, but he insisted $10,000 was all I needed. I argued with him that it was totally unfair to not give me what I had won, but he wouldn’t relent.

I was worried about winning this money because I thought it would make me addicted to gambling.

Giant butt-biting caterpillers

I was cleaning the bathroom in preparation for my friends coming over. I got on my knees to clean under the toilet and saw a mess of webs and a giant, six-inch technicolor green caterpillar. I was sure that this was the source of the bite I had on my face. I freaked out and called in Matt to take care of it. His bright idea was to repeatedly throw the creature against the wall till it died. Each hit left a bright green stain on the wall.